Preparing to Succeed in Higher Institution - Chapter Three

Chapter Three - Gate Pitfalls

Know your enemy like you know yourself. When you do, you will most likely know how to defeat it - ‘Deji David

The higher institution is a different game. Quite a number of traps await every fresher. People love new things, the devil too does. New students are always targets.

Some time ago, I heard of how guys tried luring some girls to sleep over at their place when the young girls could not get vehicles back home after a Post UME examination. Little girls are constantly faced with all manner of deceitful and forceful demand for sex, especially on campus. Young boys are not left out.

Below are some pitfalls to watch out for having gained admission into the higher institution:

- Sex Hungry Staff

I am not totally sure why girls indulge in sex with lecturers, but I believe those who indulge in such act practice it as an attitude; they are accustomed to immoral acts. Pressure may come but you do not have to succumb. In many cases the girls involved may be the cause. Unlike in Science, in this case, like poles attract. When you are constantly known for improper dressing, loose talks, and careless physical composure, hugging everyone at sight, anyone can think ‘you are available’. Those who harass will believe you are calling. Even when they are wrong, you may be wrong as well.

Dress decently! Walk and talk and act responsibly. However, if you find yourself in sexual harassment, talk to someone more matured meet counselor for help. You can also inquire to discover any staff known for spiritual and moral integrity. Anyone with such recommendation can help you. If you keep quiet, your problem can silent you. Speak up to the right person(s) for help.

- Cultists

No cultist will ever tell you all he goes through. He knows if he does, you will take to your heels. The cost of joining a cult group is killing and the price to run the membership is worse. You will be encouraged to ‘join the fine boys and big boys on campus’. It is all deception. There is no peaceful cultist. They are either chasing someone or being chased. Please, do not consider cultism even if you do not see a reason not to belong. It is more deadly than you know. Those trying to lure you in wish they never joined.

If somehow you are already a member of a cult group, you need to get out. It is possible. There is this common deception among ‘tired’ cultists; they tell themselves’ “Once I graduate from school, I am out”. This is a grand deceit, it never works. Cultism is spiritual and bonding and hunting. The bush initiations, concoctions taken in secret and spoken codes generated from unstated sources are all demonic. It takes a higher force to break free. Graduate from school never delivers from this grip, neither does self-conviction. You need to get out of cultism. Set up a confidential conversation through the contact given at the end of this book. It is possible to break free forever, God will help!

- Extra Nice Guys

Many stallites – students in 200 level and above – believe in ‘catching them young’. They go on to select young freshers to ‘care for’ as they claim. Like the devil, they entice young girls they would mess around with and throw aside when another set of freshers gain admission. Be very careful! You should know that the 200 level or 300 level guy asking you out would have dumped someone before coming to you. He definitely was not waiting for you all these years without a girl. You may be next to be dumped. He will not remember he is your first love. Also, be careful about receiving gifts and going on treats. Most guys do not spend for nothing. Do not be deceived and stop deceiving yourself.

I personally advice; freshers do not need a relationship until after some years in the system. Give yourself enough time to know the people and understand the trends. Take time to build good grades in your first and second academic years. These become difficult in later academic years if lost earlier. Do not fall to the pressure and sweet words of toasters and friends. Allow time. Build solid foundation academically, and emotionally.

- Over Caring Girls

Boys are not left out of the deception. As a fresher years back, I was fondly deceived that I had a baby face. So I had a number of girls flocking around, though I was younger. Many ‘fine boys’ on campus have similar experience. If you notice a girl likes you so much, throws herself around you and you feel like a superstar, she is most likely your ‘burial ground’; run away! A girl cannot be that proactive for nothing. If an older lady is flocking around you, she may want to include you to her list of those who satisfy her lustful urge. Do not join the crowd. Run!

- Wrong Association

Dr. Oyedepo said, “Association is the greatest challenge of the young generation”. Choosing the right friends can be difficult, but here is the logic; “define every relationship you get into”. Know the reason why every friend you claim to have is a friend”. Know the answer to the ‘why’ question in every relationship; and ensure the ‘why’ answers and meets a need and not a want.  Have a clear cut reason for every new friend you permit. Make your friends, and for the right reasons too. Keep a distance from anyone who is not genuinely adding value to your life. Friendship is by choice, and not by force. Undefined friendship is a major reason why most young people fall into mistakes.

School is full of young chaps who can help you down the lane of destruction without charging you a dime. Be careful who you allow into your life. Make friends with those better than you; those who are not scared to tell you the truth; those who stir up the gifts in you; those who care without attaching strings, those who remind you of great values you seem to be neglecting; those who are not ashamed of your small beginning; those who challenge you academically, and inspire you spiritually, and those who would not dare to fond with your body. Do not be scared to detach from a destiny destroyer. As it is for business success, recruit slowly and fire fast as soon as you detect you made a wrong recruit. Be slow and very analytical in making friends. Be fast to ‘de-friend’ anyone you discover is a threat to your future and royal destiny. Let the bad friends stay far. Their closeness in dangerous. You will succeed!

To be Continued.....